Today I’m practicing not engaging in fantasy about my future wife. But this is difficult because despite my commitment to saving my marriage, my wife has made it clear that she really doesn’t think she can be happy with me. I’m starting to come to some acceptance of this fact. I’m not as twisted up in pain over this. It’s starting to sink in that I need to prepare to let go. I also need to let go of the idea of being married (or in a LTR) after the divorce. Time alone I think would be highly valuable. And it really wouldn’t be alone. There’s Amy, my family and friends, always. You know what I mean by alone. The thought is a little scary to think about after almost 10 years with my wife. But I suspect that’s fairly normal.

I’m really in a much better place today. A place of acceptance. A place of letting go. What’s that parable about letting something go and if it comes back to you it was meant to be and if it doesn’t come back to you it wasn’t meant to be? Or something like that. I can really go with that today and feel ok with it.